Have you ever found yourself in an argument? It is very normal to argue, for any reason or no reason. In high school, my colleagues were convinced I will become a politician, maybe because they argue so much and have answers to all questions, characteristics which arguably I possessed – I doubt it though.
Everyone one of us argue because being argumentative is more of a reflex action than it is a choice. Anytime you feel a threat we respond by fleeing or by fighting. Because we have matured and we are more intelligent, we realize that it is too much work to flee or fight, we start censoring what we otherwise would term as a threat. We question the matter and try to seek a consensus. We become more aware of external stimuli – the threat.
Arguing is not all that bad after all; arguing is a product of coming to terms with our threatened sense of identity. It is how we communicate our strong feelings about important topics. When it is done intelligently, one is said to have argued well and is seen to have mastered his art well. Even then, the goal is not to sound argumentative.
But why do people dread arguing? It is often discouraged and no one really wants arguments? Listen to this, if one is unable to argue well, it can become idiotic which most of the time makes the argument not to work. People engaged in such argument end up being frustrated, maybe because no one has the will to look at the real issue in its entirety.
When this become the case, we end up now becoming unreasonable and we start name calling. You use derogatory and cursing words claiming the other person is an idiot. You may start to attack the character of the other person escaping the need to deal with the actual substance of the argument.
There are more reasons why arguments are discouraged in so many quotas, including where people deflect from the argument itself and use nonexistent or unrelated references to support their argument.
Have you ever engaged in an argument? Was it the intelligent or was it an idiotic one? How was the other person behaving?